Random Thoughts by a Trophy Husband

Top 6 Reasons to become a Trophy Husband

The Urban Dictionary defines a trophy husband as a man who looks amazing and sits at home all day, mooching off his wife’s money. While that could be true in some instances, it’s not a fair definition of what it truly takes to be a trophy husband in today’s society. It takes years of careful planning, hard work, and just a touch of luck and it can push a man to his breaking point. I’ll attempt to educate everyone with the following list.

1. When it comes to vacation time, you never have to ask off at work. When the Mrs. says “We are going to the beach.”, you say “Ok.” You don’t follow a schedule or have a boss.

beach feet

2. If you want to stay in your pajamas all day, you can. Honestly, other than the yard man, mail man, or UPS guy, who is going to see you? You are the king of your castle. Why not act like it?

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3. Shaving each day is only an option. 5 o’clock shadow from 3 days ago? No problem. Sugar Mommas love a scruffy face.

unshaven metro man

4. You can catch up on any show you have missed over the last 20 years. I highly recommend Netflix for this. You’ll save lots of time without having to sit through all the commercials. Curious as to what happened in the season 3 finale on Magnum PI? I’m not. Just sayin.

magnum pi

5. Since you are responsible for 90% of the grocery shopping you can buy any food you like. Don’t eat certain vegetables? Not your concern. I tend to avoid any food i can’t pronounce and anything that is featured on tv as a superfood.

veggies

6. Because of all your free time, updating your status on social media is a breeze. Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and others are all updated in a matter of seconds. Most working men have to sneak around and secretly update what goes on each day. Not the Trophy Husband! If a status needs to be updated, don’t your friends really deserve to know about it instantly?

status update

I hope this list has helped each of you better understand what goes on each day in the life of a trophy husband. It’s certainly not a job for every man and while most men will tell you that is their dream, they have neither the plan nor the means to make it happen. It should also be pointed out that even a man who isn’t a trophy husband yet can still perform most if not all of these tasks with some careful planning. Good luck to each of you. I look forward to hearing from fellow trophy husbands soon.

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